Why do I lie? 

This is a really personal post for me and something that I have never spoken to a person about ever. This is the only platform I feel comfortable enough in venting it so excuse the immature writing style. 

Ever since I was tiny, I have told lies. Mostly little lies, embellishing stories and when there was actually 10 people at the party, when I retold it there were 50. Seemingly harmless and perhaps to some degree, something that most people are guilty of. 

But as I have got older, the lies have got bigger, sometimes stories that are totally fabricated. The reason I am writing this is because it scares me, and I want to know if anyone else does this and what I can do to stop. 

I genuinely genuinely don’t intend to lie. The first time I hear the lie is when it has already come out of my mouth and I normally spend the next 10 minutes thinking to myself: “why did I say that? That isn’t true” 

I have no idea why I do it, whether it is something to do with wanting to be involved in conversation and having something to say or whether it is something deeper that I am not aware of, but I hate it. 

I sometimes catch people looking at me as if they know it’s a lie and that makes me really hate myself. 

I have literally just done it for absolutely no reason. A friend of mine was robbed (this is true!) and had an expensive mixing desk stolen. I have absolutely no idea how much the desk is worth but when I told my parents I said: “he had a £300,000 mixing desk stolen” and as soon as I said it, I realised how ridiculous a number that was but I genuinely don’t think about it, it just comes out. 

I really hope that some of you can offer me some help and guidance because I really hate this. 

Thank you! Xoxo 

Why I Don’t Agree with Having a ‘Plan B’

I work a lot with young people, deciding what to do when they leave school/college. The majority of these are performing arts students. When I am talking to them about their future plans, I hear this phrase multiple times every session:

“I really want to be a dancer, that is my absolute passion but I think I am going to do history at university so that I’ve got a backup – like a plan B.”

This phrase really bothers me for the following reasons:

  1. The fact that a history degree is rated so much higher than a performing arts degree is a problem in my eyes. I will challenge anyone to tell me what skills that you learn from a history degree that you do not learn from doing a degree in acting. In fact, communication skills, presentation skills, social skills, interpersonal skills are all traits that an employer would actively seek, not how well you can quote a book from the 1800’s. Now, I am not criticising degree choices because of course, I am hugely biased but I just struggle with the notion that a more academic degree makes you more employable, because I wholeheartedly disagree.
  2. Young people are setting themselves up for failure, and I questions where this has come from. When I first started out doing performing arts, I was told a lot that I would really struggle to find a job and that it was going to be very difficult for me if I chose that career path. To be given a negative at such a young age just sets a young person up for failure. We should be encouraging young people to follow their dreams, because if you are told that you will not make it, it is unlikely that you will try.

My advice would be:

Try plan A first. Give it everything, give it absolutely everything that you have and dream really big. People will always try to push your dream big, so start really big and then when they inevitably push you down, it is still big.

Then, if plan A falls flat, come up with a plan B. Maybe in the same industry or if you want to totally change direction, go for that too! However, let plan A pan out first, because if you spend half your time going for plan A and half your time coming up with a back up plan, you aren’t putting everything into plan A.

Dream big, and who knows, it might happen.

Poetry: You.

Your laughter frightens me and your hands hurt me.

Your eyes pierce me and your charm offends me.

Your kiss and your smile touch the part of me that urges grass to grown and longs for longer than my collected years to share this earth with you for one more day.

The love I feel for you is so deep and so solid that I am not sure that it is even love anymore.

Not love like the kids feel at least.

Its deeper and more painful. Harsher and more fearful.

It surges thro0ug every move I make.

it controls my cries and my laugher, my work and my song.

The thought of a world without you and me as a pair is a thought that I cannot comprehend and that is the scariest thought of all.

Am I anyone aside from your partner?

The trust and reliance I have on our  match is more than the strongest of metals.

Your pride makes my wars worth fighting.

Your strength and resistance ignites a fire inside me that carries me up the tallest of mountains and carries my across the deepest of seas.

You are real, and it is your reality that I love the most.

I have bugs under my skin…

This isn’t a very pleasant blog post.

I have had eczema my whole life. I am constantly covered in scars, blemishes and rashes (sexy I know!) and therefore a few weeks ago, when some new ones popped up I didn’t think anything of it. it was only when they started to spread and itch like crazy I thought I should book a GP appointment.

I have scabies. Bloody scabies.

Last year, I dated an arsehole for a while, and I think he either didn’t fancy me, or was gay, because honestly, any excuse to not have to get down and dirty he would take it. But about 6 months in, he got scabies and it was a right palaver, before that I had never even heard of it!

But now I feel like it is karma coming back to bite me on the bum for insulting him and accusing him of using it as an excuse not to see me.

It is vile.

I feel disgusting. I have rashes all over me, I itch like mad, I feel them crawling under my skin(eww!) and I get a weird tingly feeling all over me. The thought of it is gross.

The worst part is, I have no idea if they are gone (I have used the cream) because every single website tells you something different and people seem to have them for months!

It is literally all I can think about and is making me feel really down, and really self conscious so if anyone has any advice at all, I would be really grateful.

 

Thanks 🙂

Why Running Late is NEVER an Excuse

 

Before I say anything, I want to deliver a warning. Firstly, that this is going to be a rant, and secondly that it is going to be offensive if you are a person that says, “I’m always late.”

 

In my years, I have applied for lots of jobs. That is not to say I got offers for many of them, but I have certainly applied. In most, if not all, job applications, punctuality will be mentioned somewhere. And I am going to say why I think that it is one of the most, if not THE most, important part of a job, life, and the world in general.

 

In 2017, things are faster than ever. Our calendars update on our phones, people always seem to be in a hurry and the world is ever changing. In times gone by, an email would be sent (or a letter) and it would be several days, if not weeks before the person was to expect a reply. Now, responses are expected immediately, with things moving on all of the time and no one having any time to stop and take check. Now, that is not to say that I agree with this, there have been several times when I am sat in front of the television on a Sunday night and have received a work email, to which I feel obliged to reply.

 

However, one positive thing that has come out of the contact technological advances is that there is no longer any excuse at all for lateness; and this I am very glad about.

 

In years gone by, if you had missed your train, you could have blamed it on it being delayed and you not being aware, or on bad traffic, or on a variety of other excuses. Now, all of these falls on deaf ears to me and all can be solved. For example…

 

“My train was delayed”

 

  • Did you not check before you left the house that your train was running on time?

 

“There was really bad traffic so I dint get to the station in time”

 

  • Did you not check the traffic before you left and then amend your time accordingly?

 

Now, I know this seems totally ridiculous and of course, things happen all the time that we cannot help, and I have been late for things in the past (albeit rarely!)

 

However, I really do not think that there is any excuse for not informing the person you are meant to be meeting that you are going to be late. This happens to me all of the time. Only today in face, a school group were meant to be visiting the university I work out, and arrived 20 minutes late, despite being in walking distance and didn’t even have the decency to drop me an email or a quick call. This is just plain rude.

 

I also do not think there is an excuse when you don’t allow yourself enough time. If you leave the house at 10:00 for a 10:30 meeting knowing that it takes you 25 minutes to get there and you will need to find a parking space, then you only have yourself to blame.

 

My main issue with punctuality is excuses. I have a few friends who simply say, “oh, I am always late.” It is almost like defence mechanism. You know if you go for a job interview, and you really want it, and someone asks how it went, you may say, “I won’t get it,” to defend yourself against the pain when you eventually find out that you did not get it. I feel this is similar. People who are late warn you that they are always late to save you ever criticising them to the fact that they had already warned you about.

 

It really does drive me bonkers.

 

It is rude, unacceptable and lazy.

 

If anybody ever greet s me with an, “I am always late,” I simply respond with, “well, don’t be.”

 

I wold love to know if anyone else shares a passion as strong as mine for this! Let me know J

 

My Favourite Thing: My Filofax

 

Call me weird, but I love organisation.

 

It is genuinely one of my biggest pleasures in life. The thought of an unorganised desk, diary, or life to be honest, makes me feel sick.

 

Even as a child, the thought of going back to September was significantly improved by the fact that I could reorganise my pencil case, and get myself some new gel pens. This feeling still has not changed – paper chase is still my idea of absolute heaven!

 

Also, call me old fashioned, but I am not great at online organisation. People always say to me, IO do not know why you even use a diary, just use the calendar on your phone. Nope! I do not trust it for one, and I just like the idea of writing something on paper.

 

So, I thought that I would share with you all my method of organisation and my favourite bit of stationary ever!! Hope you enjoy J

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In January, I decided I wanted a new system. I have had diaries in the past and my last one worked quite well but it wasn’t spiral bound which meant that it didn’t stay open on the desk which irritated me. So I went to John Lewis to look at diaries and stumbled upon the new love of my life!

10-5

I have had a Filofax before but didn’t get on with it very well because the boxes were too small to write in, and my job require me to write a lot in it. But when I saw this I couldn’t say no!

This is the Rose Gold Saffriano Limited edition Personal Filofax in Rose gold.

isn’t it just beautiful!!!

Along with the rest of the world, I am totally obsessed with everything rose gold, but even 2 months after originally purchasing this, I still look at it everyday and admire tis beauty. I just absolute love it.

I bought some page-a-day inserts to go in it so that I didn’t have the same issue as last time. I also got some personalised monthly dividers from Etsy so that I can easily flick between months.

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Everyone organises themselves in a slightly different way but I jus thought I would share my method. It is actually very messy and scribbly but I quite like the look of a jam packed Filofax that is clearly being used.

So I actually use it as more of a to do list. Everyday, I write down my tasks for the day (mostly, work related) and as I compete them I erase them with a pink highlighter. Any events for the day go onto a coloured stick label. This means that I can (and have) planned months in advance, for example. I have already written a to do in April when I know that my phone contract expires. It just means that everything is in one place and it works really well for me.

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I would love to know what method or organisation you all use, and what you think of mine!

Thanks 🙂

GIVEAWAY!! 

I am giving away some bits of make up that I got for Christmas and haven’t used! 

All you need to do is… 

1. Follow this blog 

2. Comment below with your name! 

Competition closes on Monday 13th Feb! 


Just a note, the two foundations have been opened in order to test the colour but haven’t been used properly. 

The blusher has been swatched. 

Everything else is unopened! 

Much Love xx 

Award Nomination! 🍾

Firstly, a huge thank you to www. 3sistersabroad.wordpress.com 

For my nomination!!!! 

Blogger Recognition award.RULES : 

 1. THANK THE BLOGGER WHO NOMINATED YOU AND PROVIDE A LINK TO THEIR BLOG.

 2. WRITE A POST TO SHOW YOUR AWARD.

 3. GIVE A BRIEF STORY OF HOW YOUR BLOG STARTED.

 4. GIVE TWO PIECES OF ADVICE TO NEW BLOGGERS.

 5. SELECT 15 OTHER BLOGGERS YOU WANT TO GIVE THIS AWARD TO.

 6. COMMENT ON EACH BLOG AND LET THEM KNOW YOU HAVE NOMINATED THEM & PROVIDE THE LINK TO THE POST YOU CREATED

I started this blog a few weeks ago, having absolutely no idea what I was doing, and still don’t to be honest! I love to write and I just decided to start writing things down and I am so so grateful for every like, and comment, it really does give me a boost every time I know someone had read my little blog! 

The two pieces of advice I can give are keep blogging and writing about what you love!! 

I nominate: 

https://feetonthemap.com

https://mylittleleoblog.wordpress.com

https://thisdarlingadventure.travel.blog

https://avocadosucker.wordpress.com

https://sparklingpoems.wordpress.com

https://foxonanisland.com

http://www.fromdreamtoplan.net

https://alanagabo.wordpress.com

https://shivashishspeaks.wordpress.com

https://myblogcherry.wordpress.com

https://indiablue.co.uk

https://dacsmommy.wordpress.com

https://wordscantfathom.wordpress.com

https://thedutchbaker.wordpress.com


 

ADVICE NEEDED: Beauty Subscription Boxes??

I have seen loads of things online about beauty subscription boxes and me being a totally beauty lover, am really wanting to give one a try. However, I have also seen some really bad reviews online. I know that companies like this will automatically renew your contracts, but apart form that, I was just looking for some advice about the quality of the products, and which company that you would go for?

I have heard about…

  1. Birchbox
  2. Glossybox

I am unsure if there are others but want all of your lovely opinions please!!

Body Image: Is Big Beautiful?

You are size 12 right? Not massively overweight but not skinny either? Been on fad diets but really love food? Wonder if you will ever have a figure like the ones you see everyone achieving? Yeah, well me too.

Every single morning I wake up, and say to myself, today is going to be the day that I change. Today will be the day where I turn into one of those girls on Instagram who has green smoothies for breakfast and takes pictures of berries delicately placed on their porridge. However, most days I fail. That is a lie. All days I fail.

I am not happy with my body. I have stretch marks, lumps and bumps, bulges in all of the wrong places and hate to look at myself in the mirror. I am sure that most of the people reading this blog will feel exactly the same as me. The problem is that all the women and men that we see are not these women and men, they are the people that have managed to make a change.

I have no idea what to do really. I would love to be one of those people but it is so hard. I am addicted to food. Totally. And I hate exercise. Will I be this size forever? Or will i grow?

Because of all of this, I have started to really hate myself. I look in the mirror and really really hate what I see. It does not help that I have a problem with my skin which causes me to have marks all over my body which is quite unsightly.

However, the point of this blog is not to ramble or moan. I see so often images of plus size models and women and men embracing the images and saying that “big is beautiful” blah blah blah. But I really struggle with this image.

Remember at school when you were rubbish at maths? But you got the award for being the best trier, or having the most persistence. AKA, you are not very good but at least you try. I feel that these images have a slight tone if this kind. When I look at these campaigns, I feel sorry for the women being depicted because I almost feel that they are being shown as a second best type citizen, a kind of, aww never mind, you are pretty in your own way. I have no issue with women of any size, but struggle with the message behind these campaigns.

There are also so many messages about body shapes. Are you an apple, a pear, an hourglass or an inverted triangle? None of these. In the above picture, I am most certainly round.
Maybe I am the only person who feels this way, but would love to know other peoples thoughts on these campaigns, or if anyone as any advice for a girl who can’t get her arse into gear and is scared she never will!