Long distance relationships have a bad rep. Most people, when I tell them that I live over 3 hours away from my boyfriend, greet me with a, “I don’t know how you do it,” or “do you think it will last?” Well I am going to share my experiences; both good and bad, and give you some of my tips to take long distance totally in your stride.
I met my boyfriend at school, over 5 years ago. We lived in the same town and went to the same school and therefore, it worked easily. We saw each other most days and everything was perfect. I then had to go to university (he is a little younger than me!) and despite it only being an hour to travel from Liverpool to Stafford, we soon ended our relationship. Looking back now, it was not due to the distance at all, it was due to us both needing time to be young and selfish and have some time on our own. I really thought that this was the end of it; he was living in Newcastle studying Medicine and me in Liverpool about to graduate. However, nearly 2 years after we parted ways, fate brought us back together (neither of us could ever really let go!) and we decided to give it another shot.
The main difference this time was that from the get go, we knew that there was a long distance between us and we knew that if we wanted to make it work, then distance was something that we had to deal with. It has now been a year since we got back together and I could not be happier. Now, do not get me wrong, I would love nothing more than to be living in the same town, of even City as him, but right now, that isn’t the way it is, and I would rather be with him from down here, than not with him at all.
There have been times when I have found it really hard. I have spent many a train journey back to Stafford sobbing my way home, but I know that this is just temporary, and if we can do this, we can do anything. There are also times when it has been great, we both I’ve completely independent lives and the times that we do spend together are very special, we go on dates, and really love each other’s company, and our relationship is miles stronger this time around.
These are my main tips for making long distance work:
- Always make time for each other. Whether it is a phone call each night, or a skype once a week, or a thoughtful card or text message, always make time to make sure that the other person knows that you are thinking about them. It is very easy to get caught up in your own world, but a short message in the morning to say that you have thought about the other person can go a really long way.
- Try not to leave it too long between each visit. We normally aim for at least once a month at an absolute push. We like to go for once a fortnight but sometimes this is impossible.
- Don’t make each other feel guilty
This is something I have found quite hard. When the person is leaving, it is very difficult not to make it a sad thing, but his can make it harder. Try to stay as positive as possible.
- Enjoy your time together! When you are together, make the most of it. Go on dates; spend real quality time with each other. We probably spend more quality time with each other now than we ever did before.
It works for me, and it can work for you! J