This is a really personal post for me and something that I have never spoken to a person about ever. This is the only platform I feel comfortable enough in venting it so excuse the immature writing style.
Ever since I was tiny, I have told lies. Mostly little lies, embellishing stories and when there was actually 10 people at the party, when I retold it there were 50. Seemingly harmless and perhaps to some degree, something that most people are guilty of.
But as I have got older, the lies have got bigger, sometimes stories that are totally fabricated. The reason I am writing this is because it scares me, and I want to know if anyone else does this and what I can do to stop.
I genuinely genuinely don’t intend to lie. The first time I hear the lie is when it has already come out of my mouth and I normally spend the next 10 minutes thinking to myself: “why did I say that? That isn’t true”
I have no idea why I do it, whether it is something to do with wanting to be involved in conversation and having something to say or whether it is something deeper that I am not aware of, but I hate it.
I sometimes catch people looking at me as if they know it’s a lie and that makes me really hate myself.
I have literally just done it for absolutely no reason. A friend of mine was robbed (this is true!) and had an expensive mixing desk stolen. I have absolutely no idea how much the desk is worth but when I told my parents I said: “he had a £300,000 mixing desk stolen” and as soon as I said it, I realised how ridiculous a number that was but I genuinely don’t think about it, it just comes out.
I really hope that some of you can offer me some help and guidance because I really hate this.
Thank you! Xoxo
milliemondays 