I have bugs under my skin…

This isn’t a very pleasant blog post.

I have had eczema my whole life. I am constantly covered in scars, blemishes and rashes (sexy I know!) and therefore a few weeks ago, when some new ones popped up I didn’t think anything of it. it was only when they started to spread and itch like crazy I thought I should book a GP appointment.

I have scabies. Bloody scabies.

Last year, I dated an arsehole for a while, and I think he either didn’t fancy me, or was gay, because honestly, any excuse to not have to get down and dirty he would take it. But about 6 months in, he got scabies and it was a right palaver, before that I had never even heard of it!

But now I feel like it is karma coming back to bite me on the bum for insulting him and accusing him of using it as an excuse not to see me.

It is vile.

I feel disgusting. I have rashes all over me, I itch like mad, I feel them crawling under my skin(eww!) and I get a weird tingly feeling all over me. The thought of it is gross.

The worst part is, I have no idea if they are gone (I have used the cream) because every single website tells you something different and people seem to have them for months!

It is literally all I can think about and is making me feel really down, and really self conscious so if anyone has any advice at all, I would be really grateful.

 

Thanks 🙂

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Why Running Late is NEVER an Excuse

 

Before I say anything, I want to deliver a warning. Firstly, that this is going to be a rant, and secondly that it is going to be offensive if you are a person that says, “I’m always late.”

 

In my years, I have applied for lots of jobs. That is not to say I got offers for many of them, but I have certainly applied. In most, if not all, job applications, punctuality will be mentioned somewhere. And I am going to say why I think that it is one of the most, if not THE most, important part of a job, life, and the world in general.

 

In 2017, things are faster than ever. Our calendars update on our phones, people always seem to be in a hurry and the world is ever changing. In times gone by, an email would be sent (or a letter) and it would be several days, if not weeks before the person was to expect a reply. Now, responses are expected immediately, with things moving on all of the time and no one having any time to stop and take check. Now, that is not to say that I agree with this, there have been several times when I am sat in front of the television on a Sunday night and have received a work email, to which I feel obliged to reply.

 

However, one positive thing that has come out of the contact technological advances is that there is no longer any excuse at all for lateness; and this I am very glad about.

 

In years gone by, if you had missed your train, you could have blamed it on it being delayed and you not being aware, or on bad traffic, or on a variety of other excuses. Now, all of these falls on deaf ears to me and all can be solved. For example…

 

“My train was delayed”

 

  • Did you not check before you left the house that your train was running on time?

 

“There was really bad traffic so I dint get to the station in time”

 

  • Did you not check the traffic before you left and then amend your time accordingly?

 

Now, I know this seems totally ridiculous and of course, things happen all the time that we cannot help, and I have been late for things in the past (albeit rarely!)

 

However, I really do not think that there is any excuse for not informing the person you are meant to be meeting that you are going to be late. This happens to me all of the time. Only today in face, a school group were meant to be visiting the university I work out, and arrived 20 minutes late, despite being in walking distance and didn’t even have the decency to drop me an email or a quick call. This is just plain rude.

 

I also do not think there is an excuse when you don’t allow yourself enough time. If you leave the house at 10:00 for a 10:30 meeting knowing that it takes you 25 minutes to get there and you will need to find a parking space, then you only have yourself to blame.

 

My main issue with punctuality is excuses. I have a few friends who simply say, “oh, I am always late.” It is almost like defence mechanism. You know if you go for a job interview, and you really want it, and someone asks how it went, you may say, “I won’t get it,” to defend yourself against the pain when you eventually find out that you did not get it. I feel this is similar. People who are late warn you that they are always late to save you ever criticising them to the fact that they had already warned you about.

 

It really does drive me bonkers.

 

It is rude, unacceptable and lazy.

 

If anybody ever greet s me with an, “I am always late,” I simply respond with, “well, don’t be.”

 

I wold love to know if anyone else shares a passion as strong as mine for this! Let me know J

 

My Favourite Thing: My Filofax

 

Call me weird, but I love organisation.

 

It is genuinely one of my biggest pleasures in life. The thought of an unorganised desk, diary, or life to be honest, makes me feel sick.

 

Even as a child, the thought of going back to September was significantly improved by the fact that I could reorganise my pencil case, and get myself some new gel pens. This feeling still has not changed – paper chase is still my idea of absolute heaven!

 

Also, call me old fashioned, but I am not great at online organisation. People always say to me, IO do not know why you even use a diary, just use the calendar on your phone. Nope! I do not trust it for one, and I just like the idea of writing something on paper.

 

So, I thought that I would share with you all my method of organisation and my favourite bit of stationary ever!! Hope you enjoy J

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In January, I decided I wanted a new system. I have had diaries in the past and my last one worked quite well but it wasn’t spiral bound which meant that it didn’t stay open on the desk which irritated me. So I went to John Lewis to look at diaries and stumbled upon the new love of my life!

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I have had a Filofax before but didn’t get on with it very well because the boxes were too small to write in, and my job require me to write a lot in it. But when I saw this I couldn’t say no!

This is the Rose Gold Saffriano Limited edition Personal Filofax in Rose gold.

isn’t it just beautiful!!!

Along with the rest of the world, I am totally obsessed with everything rose gold, but even 2 months after originally purchasing this, I still look at it everyday and admire tis beauty. I just absolute love it.

I bought some page-a-day inserts to go in it so that I didn’t have the same issue as last time. I also got some personalised monthly dividers from Etsy so that I can easily flick between months.

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Everyone organises themselves in a slightly different way but I jus thought I would share my method. It is actually very messy and scribbly but I quite like the look of a jam packed Filofax that is clearly being used.

So I actually use it as more of a to do list. Everyday, I write down my tasks for the day (mostly, work related) and as I compete them I erase them with a pink highlighter. Any events for the day go onto a coloured stick label. This means that I can (and have) planned months in advance, for example. I have already written a to do in April when I know that my phone contract expires. It just means that everything is in one place and it works really well for me.

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I would love to know what method or organisation you all use, and what you think of mine!

Thanks 🙂

GIVEAWAY!! 

I am giving away some bits of make up that I got for Christmas and haven’t used! 

All you need to do is… 

1. Follow this blog 

2. Comment below with your name! 

Competition closes on Monday 13th Feb! 


Just a note, the two foundations have been opened in order to test the colour but haven’t been used properly. 

The blusher has been swatched. 

Everything else is unopened! 

Much Love xx 

Award Nomination! 🍾

Firstly, a huge thank you to www. 3sistersabroad.wordpress.com 

For my nomination!!!! 

Blogger Recognition award.RULES : 

 1. THANK THE BLOGGER WHO NOMINATED YOU AND PROVIDE A LINK TO THEIR BLOG.

 2. WRITE A POST TO SHOW YOUR AWARD.

 3. GIVE A BRIEF STORY OF HOW YOUR BLOG STARTED.

 4. GIVE TWO PIECES OF ADVICE TO NEW BLOGGERS.

 5. SELECT 15 OTHER BLOGGERS YOU WANT TO GIVE THIS AWARD TO.

 6. COMMENT ON EACH BLOG AND LET THEM KNOW YOU HAVE NOMINATED THEM & PROVIDE THE LINK TO THE POST YOU CREATED

I started this blog a few weeks ago, having absolutely no idea what I was doing, and still don’t to be honest! I love to write and I just decided to start writing things down and I am so so grateful for every like, and comment, it really does give me a boost every time I know someone had read my little blog! 

The two pieces of advice I can give are keep blogging and writing about what you love!! 

I nominate: 

https://feetonthemap.com

https://mylittleleoblog.wordpress.com

https://thisdarlingadventure.travel.blog

https://avocadosucker.wordpress.com

https://sparklingpoems.wordpress.com

https://foxonanisland.com

http://www.fromdreamtoplan.net

https://alanagabo.wordpress.com

https://shivashishspeaks.wordpress.com

https://myblogcherry.wordpress.com

https://indiablue.co.uk

https://dacsmommy.wordpress.com

https://wordscantfathom.wordpress.com

https://thedutchbaker.wordpress.com


 

ADVICE NEEDED: Beauty Subscription Boxes??

I have seen loads of things online about beauty subscription boxes and me being a totally beauty lover, am really wanting to give one a try. However, I have also seen some really bad reviews online. I know that companies like this will automatically renew your contracts, but apart form that, I was just looking for some advice about the quality of the products, and which company that you would go for?

I have heard about…

  1. Birchbox
  2. Glossybox

I am unsure if there are others but want all of your lovely opinions please!!

Body Image: Is Big Beautiful?

You are size 12 right? Not massively overweight but not skinny either? Been on fad diets but really love food? Wonder if you will ever have a figure like the ones you see everyone achieving? Yeah, well me too.

Every single morning I wake up, and say to myself, today is going to be the day that I change. Today will be the day where I turn into one of those girls on Instagram who has green smoothies for breakfast and takes pictures of berries delicately placed on their porridge. However, most days I fail. That is a lie. All days I fail.

I am not happy with my body. I have stretch marks, lumps and bumps, bulges in all of the wrong places and hate to look at myself in the mirror. I am sure that most of the people reading this blog will feel exactly the same as me. The problem is that all the women and men that we see are not these women and men, they are the people that have managed to make a change.

I have no idea what to do really. I would love to be one of those people but it is so hard. I am addicted to food. Totally. And I hate exercise. Will I be this size forever? Or will i grow?

Because of all of this, I have started to really hate myself. I look in the mirror and really really hate what I see. It does not help that I have a problem with my skin which causes me to have marks all over my body which is quite unsightly.

However, the point of this blog is not to ramble or moan. I see so often images of plus size models and women and men embracing the images and saying that “big is beautiful” blah blah blah. But I really struggle with this image.

Remember at school when you were rubbish at maths? But you got the award for being the best trier, or having the most persistence. AKA, you are not very good but at least you try. I feel that these images have a slight tone if this kind. When I look at these campaigns, I feel sorry for the women being depicted because I almost feel that they are being shown as a second best type citizen, a kind of, aww never mind, you are pretty in your own way. I have no issue with women of any size, but struggle with the message behind these campaigns.

There are also so many messages about body shapes. Are you an apple, a pear, an hourglass or an inverted triangle? None of these. In the above picture, I am most certainly round.
Maybe I am the only person who feels this way, but would love to know other peoples thoughts on these campaigns, or if anyone as any advice for a girl who can’t get her arse into gear and is scared she never will!

 

Why my anxiety controls me…

This is a weird one for me, and will probably be my most personal blog to date.

Anxiety is a huge part of my life, perhaps more so than I care to admit, and yet it is something I speak to no one (apart from the very rare few) about. Every single day, I think about it, differ from it, or make adjustments in my life in order to prevent or discourage it.

One of the reasons that I do not talk about it, is because I am embarrassed. I am embarrassed at how much control that it has over my life, and how much control I allow it to have. I find myself blaming my anxiety for things that I do not want to take part in, or throw myself into, and perhaps it is due to my anxiety, but it is also a very easy scapegoat.

I need to go back a few steps.

I had never suffered with any form of anxiety at all until the summer before I went to university when I was 18. I had my first panic attack whilst sat on the sofa, and I genuinely thought I was going to die. My chest seized, I had the sweats, I could not breathe, and it was truly horrendous. Until this point, like many people, I simply thought that a panic attack was a mental feeling, and I could not have been more wrong. It is so physical, it is petrifying. I was okay for about a week, not really knowing what was happening but then it hit me and I had about 2 weeks of not being able to leave the house, having multiple attacks every day and spending every second of the day fighting it. At this point, I did not think I would be able to go to university.

Well, I did go. I graduated in fact and have not let it hold me back from succeeding. However, it has never left me. I know people that have had bouts of anxiety and then are totally fine. For me, it has settled considerably but it is with me in some form every day.

I really do think (in a very patronising way!) that it is something that you cannot fully understand unless you have been through it.

I am scared that for my whole life I will be battling this and that there will be certain things (drinking, travelling, social situations) that I have to force myself to engage in despite freaking out inside.

I wish I could finish this post by saying that I have cracked it, and am fine , but unfortunately still looking for advice on this one!

 

TV Review: Apple Tree Yard

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**NO SPOILERS**

Last night saw the final episode of Apple Tree Yard on BBC 1. I cannot help but give my opinion!

This is a brief synopsis:

“Married with two grown-up children, Yvonne Carmichael (Emily Watson) lives a contented, conventional suburban life. But her world spirals into chaos, when a chance encounter leads to an impulsive and passionate affair with a charismatic stranger (Ben Chaplin). Despite all her careful plans to keep her home life and career safe and separate from her affair, fantasy and reality soon begin to overlap and everything she values is put at risk, as a life-changing act of violence leads to a Crown Court trial.” BBC

OH MY GOD I LOVED IT

From episode 1 I was gripped. The characters were fascinating, and the storyline was so mysterious it was impossible not to be totally trapped by the story. The series took part in 4 episodes, the last two taking place on following days, which was the perfect length because we weren’t left waiting too long for it to come to its conclusion.

Affairs are often portrayed on television, and I know that the drama has come into some criticism for the way that it portrayed a rape scene, almost with a message of, “a women who strays deserves it..” but I disagree and think that the shows producers were aware of this angle and actually played on it a little as it came out in the trail at the end. In fact, I thought the affair was portrayed really well, it was dirty and clumsy, taking place in back streets and secret rooms. There was no expensive hotels or fancy dinners, it was just quick and convenient and filled a void in both characters lives.

I am so often disappointed with endings of films or dramas as they reach a big climax and then just seem to tail off towards the end, but this one certainly didn’t do that. The whole way through the drama I was left feeling one way, and then in the last 10 seconds of the drama everything changed and I felt a completely different way. My mouth was left completely open. It was absolutely brilliant.

I would love to know if any of you watched it and what your thoughts are!

Beauty Products: What NOT to Buy!

The beauty industry is a multi billion pound industry. In every shop that sells beauty products, the shelves are literally spilling with hundreds of products that claim to do the same thing, with various price tags. Different companies compete to be the bestseller in whatever the new thing of the month is, or to have the lowest (or highest!) price tag.

I am a self proclaimed addict and total sucker for things like this. “A cream that can make me look like Kylie Jenner? SOLD!” I am honestly awful, and I have so many products that have been used only a handful of times before being chucked on the pile. That being said, I am definitely getting better, and I have learnt a lot over many years of wasted spends so wanted to share some of my thoughts on products that I believe are overrated. Now just a quick note, that isn’t to say that they don’t work for everybody, just my opinion 🙂

1. EOS Lip balm.

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This actually applies to soo many lip balms that are on the market, but this product is a big NO form me. the packaging is so cute and the way that it applies is a lovely gimmick but it dries your lips out. It left ym lips feeling chapped and sore, and most of my friends that had used the product  said exactly the same thing. There are so many lip balms out there that are scented or that have perfumes in them that actually dry out your lips – not what you are buying the product for! My tip would be to stick to medicated lip balms like Vaseline or my personal favourite, Blistex!

2. Mac Fix +

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Now, I do use this everyday, and quite like it, but would definitely not buy it again. It is very expensive and claims to fix your face for the whole day, giving it a shine free matte appearance. It is really refreshing don’t get me wrong, but I really do think that it is just water in a bottle. Very over-hyped, don’t waste your money.

3. Mac Make-Up Brushes

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To be honest, I don’t have a lot of nice things to say about MAC in general. I love their lipsticks and I have a  gorgeous highlighter from MAC but I think they bank on the fact that they have a huge cult following that would buy anything that they brought out without disputing it, and I think their brushes are a prime example of this. They cost an absolute fortune and are no better than real techniques which cost a margin of the price.

4. Real Techniques Brush Cleaning Gel

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I got this for Christmas and was so excited to try it, after using Fairy Liquid for years, I thought that this was going to be an absolute game changer. It is not. It leaves the brushed greasy, not clen at all, and takes twice the amount of time. I absolutely love the real techniques brushes, but this cleaner was not what I expected at all. I will stick to Fairy Liquid!

5. Face washes

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I am quite lucky not to have particularly spotty skin, but I do get lots of dirt and stuff (eww) clogged in my pores so like to wash my face and use face masks and washes. There are literally hundreds of different types and after trying all sorts, I would say that there is preferences for each individual but don’t be conned by thinking, oh this face wash costs £20 it must be fantastic. It probably wont be and you will be £20 worse off. Stick with a standard non perfumed wash that does the job.

6. Mac Ruby Woo Lipstick

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I generally really like MAC lipsticks, especially velvet Teddy which is my all time favourite but I got this one for my birthday, wanting a classic red, which is certainly is. However, it is almost too matte. It is really difficult to apply and makes your lips feel very clumpy and dry. I  like a lipstick that applies nicely and then dries matte where as this you really have to drag over your lips.

7. MAC Concealer

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I have never tried the liquid concealers, which may be very good but this one is not. It is heavy and doesn’t apply smotthly. It may be just of rcovering spots as appose to under eye but I did not like it at all and it is sooo expensive. iw illstick to my Collcection 200 £2.99 concealer, which is the best ihav ever used.

Right, so ranting over! Gosh, that was a moany blog wasn’t it? I know it seems that I am slamming brands like MAC and maybe I am a little, but my point is to look at the products themselves and not the brand, or the price, simply believing that, oh it is by MAC, it must be brilliant. try things out and make up your own mind. Most of all, Have Fun!