This is a really personal post for me and something that I have never spoken to a person about ever. This is the only platform I feel comfortable enough in venting it so excuse the immature writing style.
Ever since I was tiny, I have told lies. Mostly little lies, embellishing stories and when there was actually 10 people at the party, when I retold it there were 50. Seemingly harmless and perhaps to some degree, something that most people are guilty of.
But as I have got older, the lies have got bigger, sometimes stories that are totally fabricated. The reason I am writing this is because it scares me, and I want to know if anyone else does this and what I can do to stop.
I genuinely genuinely don’t intend to lie. The first time I hear the lie is when it has already come out of my mouth and I normally spend the next 10 minutes thinking to myself: “why did I say that? That isn’t true”
I have no idea why I do it, whether it is something to do with wanting to be involved in conversation and having something to say or whether it is something deeper that I am not aware of, but I hate it.
I sometimes catch people looking at me as if they know it’s a lie and that makes me really hate myself.
I have literally just done it for absolutely no reason. A friend of mine was robbed (this is true!) and had an expensive mixing desk stolen. I have absolutely no idea how much the desk is worth but when I told my parents I said: “he had a £300,000 mixing desk stolen” and as soon as I said it, I realised how ridiculous a number that was but I genuinely don’t think about it, it just comes out.
I really hope that some of you can offer me some help and guidance because I really hate this.
Thank you! Xoxo
Perhaps you’re simply a natural story teller. You love to entertain those around you, and an exaggerated version of the truth is always more entertaining.
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Yes perhaps, but I do worry that it is slightly out of my control
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But they are harmless lies after all. Reining it in a little can be you’re new personal challenge.
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Absolutely. Thank you so much for your support
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First, I have to tell you. I really REALLY appreciate your vulnerability and courage for opening up.. So I hope you get lots of insight and answers for putting yourself out there like that. Secondly, while I don’t struggle with that particular “impulse” to the degree you’ve just described, I have my own set. 😉 One piece of the puzzle when it comes to lying or anything like it, is that the more we do an activity, the more we will repeat it..it becomes a habit… the good news is, habits can be unlearned, (although not without some intentional work initially…. someone described it to me like this.. the more I behave in a certain way, the pathways in my brain become stronger…like a well traveled path… or like groves in a record. so if you want to stop something, you need cut new groves in your response…While I would not say lying is an “addiction” in the traditional sense of the term, there are components of it that remind me of an addiction. something that has a strong hold on me. Here’s a quick article I just grabbed off the Internet that talks about breaking an addiction…(and the amount of time and energy that may be required to retrain your brain. Good luck! DM
http://www.duffysrehab.com/blog/articles/how-long-does-it-take-to-break-the-habit-of-addiction
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Thank you so much! It’s so nice to get it off my chest and not to be told that I am a horrible person! I do hope you are doing well with your ‘isms’
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🙂 There is an ebb and flow to isms I’ve discovered… Lately, things have been going well. all of us have “isms” I’m convinced of it….they come in lots of different forms.
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Absolutely! I think the problem is that we don’t discuss them so everybody is convinced that theirs are individuao
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